Transformers Darwin Awards

The Transformers Darwin Awards

Tempted Fate One Too Many Times

(2005, Autobot shuttle in deep space) Naturally, the more often one engages in idiotic behavior, the more likely one is to die. Such was the case with the miniature Autobot formerly known as Brawn. Brawn had a bad habit of charging Decepticons(Megatron especially)much larger and more heavily armed than himself. Well, this sort of “rushing in where fools fear to tread” finally caught up with him when the Decepticons invaded the Autobot shuttle en route to Autobot City. Taking the initiative(and a death wish), our hero charged Decepticon Air Commander, Starscream with a transformed Megatron in his hand(a lethal combination, to be sure)at *point blank range* with no weapon and no cover. Suffice it to say, Brawn learned the hard way that Megatron and Starscream weren’t fragging playing games with his little punk aft anymore.

Darwin Award(Honorable Mention?)

“Open, dammit, Open!”

(2005, Planet of Junk) One would think that not cutting off one’s own escape route and not flaunting the Autobot Matrix of Leadership in front of the Decepticons would be a no-brainer. Well, it was a no-brainer because that’s exactly what Ultra Magnus did. Yes folks, as Autobot Leader at the time, it was his considered opinion that it was the Autobots’ darkest hour and that the Matrix would save him from all evil. Galvatron did not take well to being teased by the Matrix wielding Ultra Magnus and ordered his destruction, proving that it was not the Autobots’ darkest hour, just Ultra Magnus’. Unfortunately, the Junkions repaired Ultra Magnus, otherwise he’d have been banging on Primus’ shouting, “Open, dammit, open!” Primus sent him back. We guess he couldn’t deal with that now.

Darwin Award

Should Have Just Played Dead…

(2005, Autobot shuttle in deep space) Common sense would dictate that after being lucky enough to survive being shot full of holes, one would refrain from attracting attention to oneself while surrounded by the enemy. Ironhide appeared to be lacking this basic survival instinct when he weakly grabbed Megatron around the boot, aligning himself directly under the business end of Megatron’s fusion cannon. Annoyed at being pawed at, Megatron declared it “such heroic nonsense” and put Ironhide out of his misery, proving that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.