Real Mechs of Genius

Real Transformers of Genius

Mr. Null Ray Shooter Mech
Energon Light presents Real Transformers of Genius.
(Real Transformers of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Null Ray Shooter Mech
(Mr. Null Ray Inventor Mech)
Less creative mechs strive to kill their enemies with one shot. Not you. You take down your opponents with your futuristic laser powered stun gun.
(I can’t feel my legs now)
Like a paralysis poison spitting Dilophosaurus, you mercilessly zap your prey and then pull the poor bastard apart while they can’t fight back.
(This is way too freakin’ easy!)
And what about your buddies who can’t recharge at night? No problem. Your null ray rifles double as a makeshift sleeping pill. Without fail, your tranquilizing laser beams are guaranteed to put your buddies out like a light for at least 15 seconds.
(Megatron’s waking up now!)
So crack open an ice cold cube, Mr. Null Ray Shooter, because thanks to you, your opponents go to their deaths(and occasionally sleep) without ever feeling a thing.
(Mr. Null Ray Shooter Mech)

Mr. Enormous Fusion Cannon Wearer
Energon Light presents Real Transformers of Genius.
(Real Transformers of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Enormous Fusion Cannon Wearer.
(Mr. Enormous Fusion Cannon Wearer)
Your mammoth weapon of mass destruction strikes the perfect balance between the destructive capacity of a nuclear bomb and the sleek styling of a… nuclear bomb.
(Run for cover!)
Lesser mechs might say a planet obliterating personal weapon is overkill, but someday they’ll need to blow a chunk out of Unicron’s aft and that’s when they’ll come crying to you.
(How’s that for ironic?!)
You’ve got a tough choice to make. Feed your smoking, overheating piece of lethal arm candy or revitalize your homeworld.
( Die Autobots!)
So hook your fusion cannon up to a nice cold cube. If you’re going to compensate for something small, go really, really big.
Mr. Enormous Fusion Cannon Wearer.

Mr. Emergency Medical Hologram Inventor
Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Emergency Medical Hologram Inventor
(Mr. Emergency Medical Hologram Inventor)
Many a Starship Captain has wondered “how can I convince my ship’s chief surgeon to wait until after the crisis to treat my life threatening injury?” Thanks to you, now he doesn’t have to.
(It’s just a flesh wound, Bones)
What could be more convenient than a clap on/clap off doctor? A clap on/clap off doctor with additional menu options.
(Pushing some buttons now!)
He’s a doctor. He’s a doorstop. He’s a doctor *and* a doorstop.
(What else does he do now?)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Emergency Medical Hologram Inventor because you’ve created something that will even make Mr. Spock smile.