Misfit
The young light pink and silver seeker arrived back on Cybertron in a very pensive mood and not a little chagrined and humiliated. She had just been handed a demotion of sorts; one she more or less knew was coming.
Silverrose’s first duty on Cybertron was to locate Shockwave and report in. She wasn’t looking forward to it as there was no doubt in her mind that Starscream hadn’t a promising word to say about her in her record. Stepping out into the control room on Cybertron, the young femme looked around for Shockwave, but didn’t see him.
“Shockwave is in his lab down the hall,” one of the duty officers answered her unspoken question and shoved a datapad in her hand. “Here, you’ll need to sign in first. We have to keep track of who comes and goes around this slagheap.”
She signed the datapad quickly and made her way down the long, dark corridor that would take her to Shockwave’s current location. The loud echoes of her footsteps irritated her already hypersensitive nerves, but she knew that the irritation was only the result of her current state of distraction and unease. After what seemed like forever and at the same time way too soon, Silverrose stopped in front of the lab doors. She took a long moment to collect her thoughts and get her wits about her before keying the door open and stepping inside.
Shockwave didn’t notice her immediately as he was focused on his project of the moment so Silverrose stood at parade rest and waited to be recognized. After a few moments Shockwave turned off his tool and without looking up from his work, instructed his waiting subordinate to have a seat nearby while he reviewed her record. The silence was awkward, but Silverrose waited patiently, looking a bit embarrassed and chagrined. She knew what he was reading likely didn’t paint a pretty picture of his new charge.
Returning the datapad to his subspace pocket, Shockwave regarded the little jet curiously for a few moments.
“I gather you know why you’ve been sent here?”
Silverrose nodded, hoping to appear somewhat professional though she was certain her body language radiated a myriad of emotions, mostly frustration and resignation. Trying to appear dignified would just look phony so she didn’t bother. Her situation was humiliating and there was no use trying to pretend it wasn’t.
“Starscream didn’t point out any specific reasons, but we’ve had so many discussions over the past year that I’m sure I’m here for a combination of things. I was basically just called into his office earlier, handed new orders, and told to clear out my quarters.”
Silverrose had to keep forcibly reminding herself not to fidget or wring her hands that were neatly folded in her lap. Shockwave’s lack of any facial expression made her want to squirm. She fervently wished she could tell what he was thinking.
“Apparently your work was satisfactory, but you demonstrated an inability to adapt to life with the Decepticons on Earth, specifically insubordination and what the humans call …“putting your foot in your mouth?” I am unfamiliar with that expression, explain.”
“Um, the Earth based Decepticons have picked up certain “humanisms” over the years. “Putting your foot in your mouth” is an expression to describe someone who constantly demonstrates a mortifying talent for unintentionally insulting someone or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m, uh, pretty much a social misfit and all around nuisance, sir. At least to them anyway.”
This time she couldn’t keep herself from looking in embarrassment. She hated feeling weak and worthless, but that was exactly what she did feel like.
“So it would seem. Starscream appears to think that you are in dire need of a psychiatrist. However I think you were just too young and inexperienced for that posting. Frankly I don’t think any newly graduated cadet from the Cybertron War Academy should be assigned to Earth headquarters for their first posting. And it does…amuse me that Starscream is complaining about insubordination given his behavior towards Megatron, but I will not tolerate disobedience from you. Do you understand?”
Silverrose nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“I am aware that you are friends with a few of my subordinates, Windstorm and Sunstriker. I have taken the liberty of speaking with them about you. They seem to think that you will adjust to life in the army better here on Cybertron among seekers your own age. You’re going to work under their supervison for a short time before I move you into the telemetrist’s position. That is all. Dismissed.”
Silverrose stood and saluted, the departed the lab. She decided the next thing would be to locate her new quarters, get settled in, and then locate Sunstriker.
***
“Come in,” Silverrose called out in response to her door chime as she tossed a few items into an empty drawer. Looking up after the door to her quarters swished open and closed, she found Sunstriker leaning against the doorframe. The orange and black seeker’s gaze was uncharacteristically serious. Silverrose had been looking forward to seeing him, but now that the moment was here, she found she could only look down and away in shame. Sunstriker had been the first to warn her about taking such demanding posting straight out of the Cybertron War Academy and now that he had been proven correct, it was difficult and humiliating to face him now.
Sunstriker frowned. “Oh let’s not have any of that. So it didn’t work out. So what.”
Silverrose gave him a withering look. “So what?! That’s easy for you to say; it’s not your career. It’s not your pride. And I defy you to tell me ‘I told you so!’”
“Silverrose, you know full well that I’ve had my share of frag ups in this army myself. You’ll adapt and overcome just like most of us have. And I’m your friend. I would never tell you ‘I told you so.’ Especially since you’ll kick my aft.”
“Besides,” Sunstriker continued as he walked over to her, grinning mischievously, “you’re back here on Cybertron with all your old friends again. Things are looking up for you already.”
Despite her glum mood, Silverrose perked up a bit at that. Sunstriker looked around at her unpacking with curiosity.
“Somehow I was expecting more stuff. I’m not sure why though.”
Silverrose snorted. “So was I, but I ended up tossing my old journals after some boy genius thought it would be amusing to alleviate his boredom by hacking it and reporting the contents to Starscream. Hacked my roommate’s too. After that I learned that the only journal that’s safe to have is my memory and even then it’s only a matter of time before they find a way to hack the contents of that too.”
Sunstriker’s mischievous grin widened even further into full blown psychotic glee. “I just had a brilliant idea!”
Silverrose groaned audibly. A mischievous Sunstriker meant trouble for someone. “Let me guess? You think we ought to create the first seeker to be able to hack the memory banks of others?”
“Great minds think alike.”
With tolerant amusement, Silverrose handed him an item and pointed to her desktop. “One small glitch in your CPU there, Sun; we’re not an item.”
Sunstriker nodded and sighed. “And whose fault is that?”
“Hmmms…” Silverrose frowned and looked down at the floor again. “I guess I walked into that one, didn’t I?”
Sunstriker sighed and pondered his next words. “Look Silverrose. We’ve known each other a long, long time. I’ve waited for you to give me a chance for a long, long time. I don’t have much rank and I don’t have many material possessions to offer you, but I think I deserve a chance. And I know you’re going to bring up the tired old subject of how it could ruin our friendship if the relationship doesn’t work out. I’m willing to risk it. I want you to risk it too.”
“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you.”
The answer to the light pink femme’s observation was a simple smug smile.
“I need a little time to get settled in here first alright? Right now I’m not sure of anything.”
Flopping down onto her recharge platform, Sunstriker propped himself up on an arm, the concerned look rewriting his features once more. “What happened down there anyway, if you don’t mind my asking?”
Sighing, Silverrose sat on the edge of her recharge platform, her back to her best friend. “It was probably all me, but I just never really…fit in there. Have you ever felt like you’re merely tolerated and not really liked or wanted among certain groups?”
Sunstriker nodded. “I think we’ve all had that feeling at some point.”
“It’s hard to explain everything. There is likely a gazillion reasons why things didn’t come together or all the psychological issues involved. I think it all begins and ends with the fact that I don’t think very highly of myself and am constantly trying to compensate for that. I’m used to having my pink color scheme teased and mocked, but being used to something doesn’t automatically mean one is hardened against it. It’s hard for me to tell when others are just joking or are actually being mean so I always assume the comments are meant maliciously. Unfortunately, I’m still very sensitive to all of it and I just don’t seem to be able to laugh things off or not care what other people think. I tried so hard to make my work excellent, but off duty I was a menace with Murphy’s Law written all over me. A walking, talking, social plane crash.”
At Sunstriker’s confused look, Silverrose explained the phenomenon that humans termed “Murphy’s Law.”
“I just can’t explain it. Even when I was trying to help, just about everything I said or did was wrong, messed up, or even an outright disaster. And naturally because all these things either happened right in front of the big wigs or eventually got back to them, I felt like a freakshow. And the worse it got, the harder I tried.”
Sunstriker chuckled. “Which just made everything even worse?”
“Well to be fair, I did have my moments of insubordination and just plain stubbornness. Again, overcompensating for being pink so I didn’t want to appear to be a pushover by giving in or being too obedient. After all, it’s the principle of the thing.”
Sunstriker rolled over on his back on the recharge berth and began howling with laughter. “You are *amazing*. Only you would embark on a clash of wills with *those* guys. Who won?”
“Hmmms…I’m figuring since Starscream has the authority to order my execution that I am lucky rather than victorious.”
“Hmph,” was all the orange and black jet had for a response.
Silverrose shrugged with resignation and then settled across from him on her recharge platform. “It’s the truth.”
Reaching over, Sunstriker covered her mint green hand with his own larger white one. “Maybe this is for the best though. I know it sounds cliché, but maybe you needed to go through that in order to grow some on a personal level. You should look upon your reassignment as an opportunity to start fresh.”
Silverrose didn’t look convinced. She still looked resigned, uncertain, and apprehensive. “I hope things work out better here. I have no idea what’s in my future if it doesn’t.”
***
Since Silverrose wasn’t required to report for her first duty shift for a few days, Sunstriker decided that she could do with a night out with old friends in the hopes that it would cheer her up. By the time they arrived at their favorite hangout, Silverrose and Sunstriker found his older brother, Solarflare already there sipping some high grade energon with their other mutual friends, Windstorm and Stardrive.
Silverrose trailed close behind Sunstriker, taking comfort in his presence. Despite the fact that these were all very close and dear old friends, she still felt a bit uncomfortable and awkward meeting them after her recent humiliations. She also had absolutely no idea what they’d heard about her. Rumors had circulated about her among the Decepticons on Earth; and it was possible that they had reached Cybertron. It never ceased to amaze her what and how much information got around.
“Hey bro, how goes it?” Sunstriker clapped a hand on his older brother’s shoulder, then pulled out the chair next to him, flipped it around and straddled it.
Solarflare grunted in the usual sourpuss way he had. “Does everything have to be playground equipment to you? Can’t you ever just sit in a chair like a normal person?”
Windstorm and Sunstriker laughed off the scolding with their usual carefree temperaments. Solarflare was the solemn and serious member of the group. He was something of a cynic, but his strengths were his keen observations and intuitiveness about others and common sense which were sometimes necessary in keeping the others, especially Sunstriker and Windstorm, from getting carried away or getting into trouble.
Sunstriker and Windstorm were more like partners in crime. Separately they both had good heads on their shoulders even if they didn’t take some things as seriously as they should; but together they seemed to bring out wild and sometimes impulsive tendencies in the other; all in the name of fun.
Stardrive preferred to just go with the flow.
There was an empty seat between Sunstriker and Stardrive so she kicked the chair for Silverrose who took it appreciatively.
“It’s nice to have everyone here again in our favorite spot,” Stardrive said cheerfully.
Their favorite spot was a bar on a corner that served various grades of energon as well as energon goodies and the like. It was sort of a cross between a bar and a café; and their favorite table was outside on the patio in a corner. It was customary in their group for the first person to arrive to order the goodies so it wasn’t long after Silverrose and Sunstriker arrived that the high grade and energon goodies showed up.
Sunstriker and Windstorm were about to dig in when Solarflare pulled the tray out from under their noses and handed it to the ladies first. Stardrive and Silverrose thanked him while the irked young males grumbled at Solarflare who simply smirked knowingly.
“Can’t you stop being prim and proper just once?” Sunstriker asked, mimicking how his older brother chastised him earlier about the chair.
Solarflare just shook his head, though it was obvious by the mirth that shone in his optics that he was still amused.
“So Silverrose,” Windstorm snatched the plate from Stardrive who was taking too long to load her plate in his opinion. “I hear Earth base kicked your aft.”
There was the sound of Solarflare’s hand slapping his forehead and Sunstriker’s chair screeching as it was pushed back. Sunstriker stood up and leaned over the table, his face about two inches from Windstorm’s.
“That was uncalled for,” he reprimanded harshly.
“Geez, sorry.” Windstorm slowly sat back down, his stunned gaze never wavering from his best friend’s stern and angry one.
A small mint green hand touched Sunstriker’s shoulder; and he looked up to see Silverrose rise from her chair. “It’s been a long day, perhaps I’ll just return to my quarters. I don’t think I’ll be much fun anymore tonight.”
Sunstriker knew his love well enough to know that she was hoping to run off and be miserable all night. He caught her hand in his much larger white one before she could make her getaway. “You don’t have to run off, Silverrose.”
She looked away, embarrassed. “Look, I’m humiliated enough as it is. Do I have to keep reliving it?!”
Solarflare took a bite of something off his plate and nodded. “Unfortunately, it may haunt you for a while.”
Groaning, Silverrose flopped back onto her chair and buried her face in her hands. “Primus hates me!”
Solarflare chuckled. “You’ll live. This too shall pass.”
Sunstriker waved his brother off. “Let’s change the subject, shall we?”
***
“So shall I escort you back to your quarters?” Sunstriker smiled his best smile. They had gone for a late night flight with the others, but had parted ways with them a few minutes earlier. They were close enough to Darkmount that Sunstriker and Silverrose had opted to land and walk the rest of the way. Sunstriker’s quarters were in a different building from hers and he wasn’t yet ready to part company with her.
Silverrose returned the smile and relented even though she knew he was hoping to make another push for a relationship. He had been persistent in a charming way for a very long time. It didn’t really make her feel uncomfortable like some others felt with friends who wanted to become more. She trusted him with her life and their friendship had always been a solid and warm one. Silverrose held back mainly because she believed he wouldn’t be as happy with her as he thought he’d be.
Keying open the door to her quarters, Silverrose stepped through the doorway and flopped down on her recharge platform. Sunstriker chuckled and laid down next to her, searching her face for some sign of her inner thoughts.
“What?” If Silverrose could have blushed under the scrutiny she would have. Sunstriker merely grinned and shook his head.
“Nothing.”
“You’re not leaving tonight, are you?”
“Oh you’ve added telepathy to your list of talents?”
“No, you’re just predictable after all these years, that’s all,” Silverrose laughed, then she yawned.
Oh what the hell, she thought and snuggled up next to Sunstriker, who wrapped his arm around her and held her close, grinning hugely. She was out like a light before she knew it.
***
To be continued.